Forcing It
by KrysSaiyan
Summary: Robbie's newest invention, a device that forces its victim to trust the shooter absolutely, malfunctions and Robbie and Sportacus are stuck. When you force something, will it break? Is being broken so bad? Darkish SportaRobbie fic.
1. Versti fantur

**Chapter 1: Versti fantur**

Robbie Rotten cackled gleefully, brandishing a brand new device, put together from scraps of his old projects.

"Finally!" he boasted to no one. "I'll finally be able to defeat that Sportaloser with this!" It was a smallish remote control-like device. On the top it had a single button, and a dial. The dial was labeled with varying levels of adjustment: from "Inclined to believe" to "Follows every word". Robbie giggled again, supremely happy with himself, and did a little dance, cradling the small box to his chest. If there was no way to kick the flipping blue elf out of town, then he'd just have to convince him to leave _himself_. It was brilliant. His last plans had failed because Sportacus believed that pack of brats over him, even when he had his memory erased. Well, this would fix that…

Still chuckling in mad delight, Robbie exited his lair. This time, he would be victorious.

* * *

Sportacus was rescuing a kitten from a tree when Robbie found him. Disgusting. He hated cats. He crouched low behind a fence and aimed the little device at him. Pausing for a moment, he set the dial to a high level. Better safe than sorry, he thought. Not eager to point and shoot wildly once the man would get moving again, Robbie wasted no further time, aimed, and pressed the button.

It was one of the few times Robbie had used a new weapon without trying it out first in the safety of his home. As such, it was also one of the only times his own creation betrayed him (without outside help), and not only hit Sportacus dead in the chest, but also _backfired_ and shot a bright ray of energy into him as well. Robbie yelped and fell backwards, and the remote dropped from his hand, smoking.

This was bad.

He heard Sportacus jumping over to his hiding spot, but he kept his eyes firmly on the ground. If he didn't look, maybe it wouldn't work.

"Robbie? Are you okay? What happened?"

"Like I would tell you!" Robbie snapped, and hastily climbed to his feet.

"Oh…" Sportacus said. Robbie perked up slightly. Sportacus was believing everything he said? "Well, still," Sportacus continued, seemingly unfazed. "What was that light? Were you trying something dangerous again?" Robbie snorted, still refusing to look at him.

"What would you care, Mr. Hero? Besides, it's none of your-"

"But… but I do care Robbie!"

Robbie made a choking sound as he fought with the sudden feeling of trusting what was said. He could feel it, in his brain, consciously making him take those words as absolute truth. He thought he might cry in frustration. This wasn't supposed to happen!

"I'm your friend, remember?"

"What?!" Robbie squawked, even as his brain was betraying him further and he started to believe they really were friends. "Since when?"

"Mmm," Sportacus appeared to be thinking. "Since when you erased my memory that one time. That was really smart of you, saying you were my friend. You know how much I trust them."

Robbie cringed. He never wanted to hear the word "trust" again.

"But come on," he continued. "What was that light? You can trust me, I promise I won't tell."

Robbie cursed. He _could_ trust him, and it was abominable.

"A new invention," he muttered sullenly. "It was supposed to only hit you. But it backfired and got me too. It's totally ruined now…" He felt like burying his face in his hands and crying at the unfairness of it all.

"Oh," Sportacus said simply, and picked up the half-melted controller, examining it. "What was it supposed to do?"

"Make you trust me," he blurted out without stopping to think. The moment it left his mouth he inwardly cursed at himself. Way to go. Tell him that you think he has kissable lips next Robbie. You seem to be telling him everything _else_.

Sportacus looked at him with wide eyes.

"Robbie, I trusted you anyway! Well, at least most of the time…"

"Doesn't matter," Robbie interrupted, turning and starting to walk towards his lair. He could fix this, somehow. He was not going to be stuck trusting whatever that man said for all eternity.

Sportacus watched him go with an odd feeling. It felt like there was a string between the two of them, and it was growing taunt… Like there was an increasing pressure to follow him the further Robbie stalked away. Sportacus shifted uncertainly on his feet, glancing at Robbie's back. Was it his imagination, or had Robbie slowed down? He shook his head, swooshed through his usual moves, and dashed forward to catch up to him.

"What are you doing, Sportakook?" Robbie growled, increasing his pace again. He was getting worried. The remote was only supposed to make the blue elf take everything he said as truth. But there felt like there was something else there, and it was scaring him out of his mind.

Not to mention he wanted to retreat back to his house to sort out in his mind everything his brain was trying to tell him was the truth.

One being that Sportacus cared, and the other being that he actually had a _friend_. He shuddered slightly and tried to use his longer legs to an advantage and outdistance the man, who unfortunately for Robbie could keep up by jogging slowly.

"I wanted to talk," Sportacus said. It was true. This whole thing was pretty confusing, and since it was Robbie's invention he should be the one with answers.

"Did you like… tie us together with invisible rope or something?"

Robbie halted and turned to look at him like he was insane.

"What are you talking about?"

"When you were walking away, there was this… thing, pulling. Like we were tied together with a rope, only _I_ can't see it."

Robbie paled. He had noticed it too, but he shook it off as just his imagination. But if he felt it too…

"Shit," he cursed. Sportacus frowned a little at the language but didn't say anything. "Well," Robbie continued. "Then just stay away from me. I need to work to _fix_ this, and I can't concentrate with you bouncing around everywhere."

"I don't bounce," Sportacus complained. Robbie grit his teeth hard.

"You're right," he replied, straining. "You… don't… bounce. But you _move_. And that's distracting enough. You want to be stuck like this forever?" Sportacus appeared to be considering.

"Don't even answer!" Robbie yelled, frustrated, and he kept walking. "You just keep away from me, got it?!"

Sportacus sighed and let him walk away, trying to ignore the increased strain as Robbie got farther and farther away. It felt incredibly uncomfortable. He shivered and tried to concentrate on doing pushups instead.

* * *

AN:

Hi guys! Miss me? You can thank ShinjuTetsuya for this speedy update, because I just discovered "Aleinn um jolin". And also, Shinju is respsonsible for me even finding out about sports elves. And hell, alot of other things. So yeah. PRAISE!

This chapter is short, but the next chapter is longer. I think I shall have many small chapters. Because that's how the story breaks up. Anyone who knows my writing style is cringing at this moment! Ha. I'm using random Latibaer songs for titles. They're probably not gonna have much to do with the story itself. I just like them alot right now.Eventually, I'm going to run out of titles for my fics... oh well.

I put up Kami-chan's fic. With the elf pheremones, yes. They're in the second chapter. Go read, if you got time!

At any rate, enjoy. I haven't been feeling too good lately, so it's not my fault that later chapters keep getting darker. Let's say that I can relate to Robbie. Or maybe listening to this song over and over again for the last 3 hours is affecting my mood. Either way.

Enjoy! Love you guys.


	2. Lífið er svo létt

**Chapter 2: Lífið er svo létt**

Robbie threw a machine against the wall in a rage.

"THIS IS RIDUCULOUS!" he screamed, and another half-finished chunk of machinery met its doom against the wall. The original device was utterly useless now, all the parts melted together. And for the life of him he _could not make another_. He grabbed a piece of cake and flopped down onto his chair. He needed time to think. He scooped out a chunk with a fork and was about to enjoy the wonderful sugary taste-

"That much cake is bad for you, you know."

Robbie yelled and the cake went flying, to land in a messy pile somewhere. One hand over his chest, he looked around frantically, only to have the _damnable sports elf_ drop down from the ceiling in front of him.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" Robbie hissed angrily. Sportacus bounced on his feet lightly.

"No," he answered simply. "I was just… around. And I thought I'd drop by."

Robbie's eye twitched as he tried to hang on to the thought, suspicion rather, that Sportacus was lying and actually came into his house because of that stupid "pull" he felt. But as hard as he tried, the thought melted away and the only thing left was the statement, which had to be true.

Robbie swore, somewhere deeper in his mind, that he would never _ever_ invent something so dangerous again.

"Yeah, well," he muttered, still upset that he wasn't able to call Sportacus a liar. "What do you _want_?"

Sportacus hummed in thought for a moment. "Nothing, really." he finally replied, picking up a random piece of machinery and examining it.

"Don't touch that!" Robbie snarled.

"Why?"

"Because it's _mine_, you inconsiderate clod!"

Sportacus had opened his mouth to say something, but he abruptly paled.

"I…"

Robbie looked at him oddly. What was wrong with him now?

"I didn't mean to…" Sportacus whispered, setting the object down and backing away from it, hands firmly by his sides like a reprimanded child. "I didn't mean to be inconsiderate, I'm sorry Robbie!" He looked close to tears. Robbie froze. This was… this was going to be horrible. Why the hell had he ever invented something so complicated?!

"I-it's fine," Robbie finally muttered. On top of actually believing that the man hadn't meant to, he just couldn't stand that teary-eyed look. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"It is?" Sportacus said, rubbing his eyes quickly and pulling himself together. He normally would have let Robbie's insults roll off him, but after what the man had done to him, the words shot straight through the defense he had up. He thought he was a hero, and heroes definitely weren't inconsiderate or anything like that. The one little sentence nearly tore him apart.

He hoped Robbie fixed this very soon.

"Yeah, it's fine," Robbie said, brushing popcorn off of his chair so he wouldn't have to look at the man. "You're… you're not inconsiderate. I just don't like people touching my stuff."

Sportacus grinned brightly, instantly cheered. He felt a tugging toward Robbie, and he automatically took a step forward. Robbie glanced up immediately, feeling the tug as well.

"Stay there," he said flatly. Sportacus looked conflicted.

"But…"

"No."

Robbie stood up from the chair and stomped over to the work bench he had been at five minutes before. He started hammering things in a seemingly random pattern.

Sportacus paced, restless, as he tried to keep from following the tension between them. The constant distraction of it had driven him to come down here, and he had hoped it would relax it at least a little if was closer. And it did, a little. But just knowing it was there was driving him insane.

He noticed in his pacing that he had gotten closer to Robbie. He glanced at the man (who was still hammering away at something), and at the floor space between them. He'd have to make sure he didn't get hit by any of the flying mechanical parts that surrounded Robbie, but that was simple enough… he took a step forward. Paused. Another step.

"I can _feel_ that you know," Robbie commented dryly, not turning around. Sportacus frowned and went back to pacing back and forth, doing acrobatic tricks every few seconds.

Robbie, from that point, was so absorbed in fitting pieces of this new contraption together that he failed to notice the very gradual relaxing of the tension that connected him to the other man. He was concentrating so hard on it he failed to notice anything was wrong until Sportacus was practically against his back, and there was a sigh of relief from above his head. He stopped abruptly and set down the tools.

"Sportakook."

"Oh, come on! It feels better now, doesn't it?" It was a question, not a statement. Open to interpretation. He opened his mouth to say something when arms wrapped around his torso.

"Oh! This feels even better! Don't you think so Robbie?"

All that came out of the man was a strangled squeak.

"Does that mean yes or no?"

"It means put me down!"

Sportacus sighed regretfully and released him.

"It made the tension stop though," Sportacus pointed out.

"But it also required you _touching me_."

He started to ask 'is that bad?' but then thought better of it. Robbie was liable to snap at him, and anything the man said, even if he didn't really mean it, Sportacus would think he meant it. He huffed and started doing sit-ups next to Robbie's chair. Why did Robbie have to make everything so complicated?

Robbie eyed him distastefully.

"Can't you do that somewhere else?" Sportacus paused, then shrugged and continued. Robbie sneered and banged more heavily on the mess of wiring and metal in front of him. He wasn't actually trying to create anything at the moment. It was merely therapeutic at this point.

After several minutes passed, Sportacus had gone through multiple sets of nearly all of the exercise moves he could think of. He started humming to himself as he did some low-key stretches, getting bored. It was odd. If he moved more than six meters or so from Robbie, the tension came back, and the closer to Robbie he got, the better he felt. Even if the man _was_ a split second away from throwing a fit.

"Stop humming!" Robbie finally snapped, whirling around in the swiveling chair to glare at Sportacus. Sportacus paused and looked at Robbie incredulously.

"What else am I supposed to do? There's nothing fun down here!" he protested. Robbie's eye twitched. Stupid, stupid sports elf…

"How about some music?" Sportacus suggested. Robbie grimaced. _Noise_. It figured the blue elf would want that.

"If it'll keep you quiet…" he finally relented, grudgingly picking up a remote control and pressing a button, before he turned back around to his machines. Sportacus jumped, startled, as a large set of speakers dropped down from the ceiling, jerking to a halt at about ear level.

Well, ear level to Robbie anyway. They were still over his head.

A mildly dark beat started thumping through them. Sportacus cringed slightly. He liked _his_ music better, but he supposed it was too much to ask… he resumed doing exercise.

If he hadn't been so close to Robbie, he would have missed it entirely, and as it was he barely caught it in the first place. He paused and leaned closer to Robbie's back.

Was that _singing_ coming from Robbie Rotten?

He couldn't help but sneak closer. The man wasn't bad at all, Sportacus thought, smiling and humming along very quietly. He caught Robbie's fingers drumming out the beat and he smirked. So the man did like to move after all. He had caught on to the words without realizing it, and started singing it with Robbie, who was still absorbed in whatever he was working on and not noticing.

The instant Sportacus synchronized with Robbie's song, there was a sharp _snap!_ between them and he staggered forward, bumping into Robbie's chair.

"SHIT!" Robbie cursed loudly, snapping his hand away from the machine in front of him and cradling it to his chest.

"I'm sorry Robbie!" Sportacus apologized, trying to back away and finding that it was very uncomfortable to do so. In fact, there was a very strong urge to move even closer… Sportacus paused, unsure of what to do. Robbie stood up from the chair and stalked off, Sportacus following and asking what was wrong.

He followed Robbie into another room (it looked like a bedroom, but there was junk _everywhere_ so he couldn't tell for sure) and watched as Robbie threw open a drawer with one hand, the other still against his chest. Sportacus moved closer, worried.

"Robbie, your hand…"

"Shut up!" Robbie snapped, beyond irritated. He pulled the first aid kit from the drawer and sat on the edge of his bed that wasn't cluttered with stuff. He popped it open and started rummaging through it.

"Did you get hurt? Let me help," Sportacus said and sat down next to him. Robbie sneered and tensed up, scooting away from him.

"I'll do it myself," Robbie grumbled, finally pulling his hand away from his chest and opening it from the fist it had been in.

There was a long gash along the palm, and it was bleeding. Sportacus thought his heart would stop.

"Let me help!" he pleaded, grabbing the gauze and disinfectant from Robbie. Robbie yelped in protest.

"No way! I don't want your help!"

Sportacus paused for a moment, considering. Well, he knew already that Robbie didn't want his help. That never changed anything anyway.

"Too bad," he said finally, grabbing Robbie's injured hand by the wrist. "You want me to help now."

Robbie cursed more loudly and violently than Sportacus had yet to hear in his lifetime, but didn't snatch his hand away. Only after Sportacus applied the disinfectant and wrapped his hand in bandages, did he notice the fine trembling going through Robbie at that moment. He looked up questioningly.

"Robbie? Hey, what's wrong? Does it still hurt?"

"_Yes_," he hissed, not even realizing he was _willingly_ telling the blue elf the truth. Sportacus frowned slightly. He hated it when people were hurt or in pain. He recalled suddenly something that Stephanie had done for Ziggy when he got a scrape on his elbow from playing.

He lifted up Robbie's injured hand and gave the bandaged palm a quick kiss. Robbie stared at him with wide eyes.

"What…" he started. "What in the world was _that_ for?"

"To make it feel better," Sportacus replied simply. Was Robbie totally unfamiliar with this practice? Thinking about it made him sad, suddenly. Everyone got hurt during their lives, but was Robbie so alone that he didn't even know people around here kissed hurts to make them feel better? Had no one ever done that around him before?

"You've never had anyone do that before?" he finally asked, keeping the concern out of his voice. Robbie paused, and a shielded look came over him. Sportacus barely noticed, it was so subtle. But he did notice. After a moment, Robbie seemed to decide to answer, and shrugged, shaking his head 'no' slightly, and looking at the other side of the room resolutely.

Another pang of sadness hit Sportacus. What kind of hero was he, if he wasn't going to make everyone happy? He gave Robbie's palm another kiss, and noticed when the man swung his gaze back around and eyed him suspiciously. Sportacus smiled at him.

"Twice the usual amount. To make up for it." he explained. Robbie's eyes widened for a split second before he regained his composure and snorted derisively, turning his head away. Sportacus stood up and started to back away, but paused. It felt bad to move away now, and he shivered.

Robbie, meanwhile, was trying his hardest to not miss the warmth that spread into his skin where the elf's hand had been around his wrist. It wasn't normal. He glared at a random piece of junk next to him, snatching it up quickly and throwing it against the wall. Sportacus jumped, startled.

"That stupid _stupid_ machine wasn't supposed to have these side effects!" Robbie raged, kicking his feet like a frustrated child. Sportacus watched with mild alarm as Robbie picked something else up.

"Robbie!" he shouted, moving forward and automatically grabbing the man's wrists as he brought his arm back to throw the fragile looking bundle of wires and sheet metal against the wall.

"_Let go!_" Robbie screeched in fury, struggling to free his arms.

"No," Sportacus replied, holding him easily. "Not until you calm down. You'll hurt yourself throwing a fit like that."

Robbie seethed at him. He _would_ hurt himself like this. But, did he care?

Not one damn bit.

He bit down on the elf's exposed bicep and was pleased when he yelped and let go in surprise. Robbie tried to bolt out of the grabbing distance of his rival, and got two long steps away before it slammed into him like a freight train and he very nearly collapsed, falling onto his knees, trembling and feeling sick. He dully heard Sportacus cry out and whimper behind him, and Robbie shakily turned his head.

Sportacus was curled on the floor, looking terrified.

"R-Robbie…" he managed to get out. "What is it d-doing?…" He clenched his eyes shut after that. This felt horrible.

Robbie was panting for breath. He didn't dare try and go any further away, because it was very likely that he'd pass out if he did. He grit his teeth, trying to keep tears at bay. It wasn't a physical hurt. It was something mental. It _had_ to be because of the malfunctioning device earlier that day. But even if it wasn't physical, it still hurt. It hurt badly enough to make Robbie shakily turn back around, on his hands and knees, and slowly move forward.

The instant he started back in the direction of the blue elf, the strain eased, and he instinctually scrambled as fast as he could to the elf's side, and clung to him. Sportacus jerked, the sudden switch from pressure to pleasure startling him. Robbie made a contented sound without realizing it, and Sportacus felt something warm wash over him. He shuddered, feeling his muscles all relax, like he could melt into the floor. After the crippling pressure, this remarked difference was more than welcome. He sighed.

At that moment, Robbie was recovering his senses, and realized he was still clinging to Sportacus. He removed his hands, and scooted back an inch. He really wasn't planning on moving any further than he had to, but he had to keep up appearances, and he couldn't when he had his hands all over the man he was supposed to hate, clinging to him like a scared child.

Unfortunately, Sportacus caught the movement. He panicked and grabbed Robbie forcefully, crushing him against his body and rolling on top of him.

"Don't go!" he pleaded. Robbie shuddered, the renewed contact between them sending his brain into overdrive producing endorphins. He swallowed nervously.

"I can't," he admitted quietly. It was strange. He didn't even contemplate lying to the elf now. He looked straight into ice blue eyes that were wide and apprehensive. "I can't go anywhere."

Sportacus suddenly felt such a wave of feeling for the man that he didn't try to resist the urge to give him comfort. He leaned his head down and nuzzled the pale neck, wishing he could make it better. Robbie shivered.

"S… Sport. I need up… you're heavy…"

Sportacus sighed regretfully, and they slowly, carefully, shifted until they were standing up. As soon as they were, Sportacus latched onto Robbie from behind and refused to let go.

"I need to finish my work!" Robbie protested.

"I know," Sportacus countered. "But I can stay still like this. That will help, won't it?"

Robbie paused, considering.

"I suppose," he finally relented. Sportacus sighed in relief, and followed carefully as Robbie walked out of the room and back to his workbench.

"At least it'll keep you from knocking me into sharp objects," he muttered, fingering the bandage on his hand.

"I really am sorry about that…"

"Yeah I know."

He eyed the chair doubtfully. How was this going to work, with a short elf attached to his back? Sportacus decided for him, and picked him up by the waist. He sat down in the chair and placed Robbie on his lap, arms still firmly around his waist.

"Is… this going to work?" Robbie asked skeptically.

"Yes," he answered. "You're a lot lighter than you look. And that's saying something." Robbie sniffed in an insulted manner, but felt confidant. If Sportacus thought it would work, it would. He shivered slightly, picking up his tools.

The ray's effects were becoming more insidious.

* * *

AN:

Hmm. Not much to say about this chapter. However, I do have a warning for future chapters. No, there's not gonna be a lemon. The warning is that this thing gets very... twisted. I started it as something kind of heavy, but otherwise normal. and then just one day it took a nose-dive into my usual realm of dark writing. The warning is this: Robbie gets downright unstable and dark. Normally I like writing him as a little kid playing grownup. In this, he is almost completely unbalanced and bitter. You'll see in later chapters. I'm... strangely, almost proud of it. I'm one of those people who is attracted to chaos and darker things. So, I think this just bleeds into my writing from time to time.

And yet here I am watching LazyTown. What in the world is wrong with me?

But yeah, I wanted to warn you guys to heed the "Angst" descriptor. As far as I know, no one's ever done an angsty SportaRobbie, so I'm really pumped for this! Hero complexes are fun to work with!


	3. Enginn Latur í Latabæ

**Chapter 3: Enginn Latur í Latabæ**

Half an hour later, Sportacus was straining to keep his promise of staying still. He didn't want to fidget, because Robbie would snap at him, and when Robbie got angry he couldn't work. If he was mad, he couldn't fix this.

He found himself daydreaming, longing to be out in the sun and doing so many flips and jumps his arms would be sore. He wanted to play.

But he promised.

"Hey Robbie?" he finally spoke up, quietly.

"What," Robbie replied, only half listening.

"I was thinking…"

"Allow me to be surprised."

"Hey! Anyway… I was thinking… wouldn't it be nice to take a break?"

Here, Robbie turned his head and looked at the sports elf incredulously.

"Outside!" Sportacus said hurriedly. "Because… I mean, I can't sit still for very much longer…"

Robbie growled in irritation, and glanced at the machine on the table in front of him. It was nowhere near finished. But he was getting a headache, and a nap sounded nice…

"Besides!" Sportacus added, sensing the hesitation in Robbie. "You'd feel a lot better if you got out in the sunlight a little more often!"

Robbie swung around and glared at him venomously.

"Do you just _not think_ when you talk? Is that it?" he hissed. Sportacus looked confused for a moment before it dawned on him, and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

"I'm sorry! I'll take it back!"

"Too late," Robbie said, looking resigned and sliding off the man's lap. "Come on."

Sportacus followed him closely back to the surface, and once the sun hit him, he smiled brightly and stretched.

"Oooh!" he stood on his toes, arms stretched up over his head. "I missed you, sun!" Robbie snorted at his attitude, but Sportacus couldn't help noticing the way the lines on the other man's face smoothed out slightly. He grinned and bounced on his feet.

"Come on!" he grabbed Robbie's uninjured hand and started pulling him. "I know a really great hill that's perfect for rolling down and-"

"I don't like rolling," Robbie said dully. It halted Sportacus immediately, and his face fell.

"Oh," he replied softly. Robbie glanced at him, and he thought he saw a flicker of regret or apology in the storm cloud colored eyes. He shook it off. "Well… I need to do _something_ Robbie! I'll go crazy just sitting still all the time. And I can't exactly just strap you to my back and play with the kids."

Robbie frowned and started tapping his foot in thought. Sportacus found it odd that he was only now noticing all these amusing traits in the anti-hero.

Abruptly, his crystal came to life and beeped at him. He looked down at it, hoping desperately it wasn't one of the kids in trouble, because he didn't know how he was going to do any saving with not being able to be little more than arm's length away from Robbie.

He sighed in relief. Just the kitten again. He resumed pulling Robbie along.

"I have to go rescue the cat," he explained. Robbie huffed, but followed.

"Didn't you just save the fur ball this morning?"

"Yeah," he replied, looking up at the tree branches and smiling at the small kitten meowing there, curled up against the trunk. "But she's pretty adventurous. Just keeps trying for it." He glanced at the distance between himself, Robbie, and the tree branch. He could make it. Just barely.

"Stay… stay here." he told Robbie, and jumped straight up, grabbing the branch, securing kitten in hand, and dropping down again.

"Be more careful," he crooned at her, setting her down on the ground and stroking her back. Normally, she would walk off immediately, no doubt to get into some other kind of kitty trouble, but this time she purred and rubbed against his hand.

Robbie watched the display with a sneer. That is, until the elf's face lit up with the kitten's affection, and he looked for all the world like a little kid. At that point, something fluttered around in Robbie's chest, and he grabbed at it, thinking maybe he was having a heart attack or something equally dangerous. But it wasn't painful, and slowly he lowered his hand again and watched the elf play with the kitten on the ground. The little fur ball then veered toward Robbie, and rubbed against his legs. Well, his shoes. It was a small kitten after all. He blinked at it, unsure of what to do.

"She likes you Robbie!" Sportacus said without thinking, grinning up at the man. Robbie nearly grabbed his chest again. Stupid, stupid elf. No one _liked_ Robbie Rotten. They tolerated him, but no one _liked_ him.

It was too late. The words were already cemented into his brain, next to "Sportacus cares about me" and "Sportacus is my friend".

There was a subtext; "I have a friend."

He swallowed shakily and crouched down next to the kitten.

"I don't know why you like me, you noisy fur ball," he muttered to the oblivious kitten, one hand reaching out cautiously and petting her fur. He startled slightly. It was warm, and very soft. Softer than his favorite chair. He stroked her again, and she purred.

Sportacus watched the scene, his eyes glittering with mirth. If he had known he could get Robbie to come outside and do things like this, he would have made the man trust him a long time ago.

Granted, this current situation was dangerous. He couldn't save people like this. And so, it needed to be fixed.

But for the moment, it was the sweetest gift he'd ever gotten, to be able to watch the angry lonely man who lived underground be in the sunlight and petting kittens.

Robbie carefully picked up the kitten and stood back up.

"Who does the fur ball belong to anyway?"

"Not sure," Sportacus shrugged. "No one, I guess. No one ever seems to notice she's missing anyway." Robbie was looking at the purring kitten in his arms strangely.

"Hm," he finally said. "Alright then." Sportacus looked at him questioningly, but the taller man just ignored it and went on petting the kitten with one hand, while she was supported by his other arm and curled against his chest.

"I thought you wanted to move, Sportaflop."

Sportacus jerked out of his musing.

"Oh, yeah," he answered, and quickly did some stretches. He looked longingly at the walls, wanting to jump on them and do handstands.

For the first time, this connection felt like a leash.

* * *

A week. A whole damn week, stuck with a hyperactive toddler in a grown man's body. He thought he might pull his own hair out of his head in frustration. 

Showering and sleeping together had been an exercise in self control. Self control to keep from jumping the elf, and self control to keep from strangling him.

It had been a week before Robbie's control broke.

"Stop asking already!" he snapped, nearly throwing the half-finished device at the annoying blue elf.

"No!" Sportacus snapped back. "Why won't you tell me? I already told you about my past, why can't you tell yours?"

"Because I don't want to!"

"That's not a reason!"

Robbie stood up suddenly, absolutely furious. A week. A solid week of his own mind tricking him. When Sportacus said sports candy tasted good, it did. When Sportacus said bed times helped you feel better, they did. When Sportacus said that not wanting to tell wasn't a reason to not tell, _he was right_.

"I DON'T CARE!" Robbie finally raged, towering over Sportacus, who held his ground defiantly. "I don't care if it's not a reason, I don't care if you tell me I eat disgusting healthy foods all day long, I _don't care_ that you're bored, or lonely, or _so god damn nosy that you can't stay out of my business_! I don't care about _anything_, do you hear me?!"

Sportacus swayed, his brain rapidly absorbing what was said. Why did it hurt? What was…

Abruptly, Robbie roughly grabbed him and kissed him. After a moment, he let go and tried to fling himself as far away from him as possible, given the limits.

"_There_!" he snarled. "Can you hate me now? Is that enough? Stop caring about my past and about _me_! Understand?"

Sportacus breathed shallowly, his summer-sky blue eyes wide. His lips felt tingly, and the thought surfaced, in the back of his mind, "_I want that to happen again._"

He staggered backwards, ignoring the warning tension the action caused.

Wrong. It was all wrong.

Heroes and villains did not kiss. They didn't feel good about each other. The only thing between them, ever, was friendship, and that was only after the villain renounced his evil ways. Only then, and then only friendship.

He wasn't supposed to feel anything.

He shoved the thought, the feelings, back down deep. Swallowed nervously, and stood up straight, exuding confidence.

Heroes showed villains the errors of their ways. That's what was right.

"No," Sportacus said, suppressing the nervous tremor in his voice ruthlessly. "I can't hate you Robbie. I'm your friend, remember?"

Robbie screamed in pure fury… Sportacus thought he heard the notes of despair in it as well, and he stepped toward Robbie.

The lean man crumpled to the floor like a child having a tantrum. His mind was a mess. Shambles. What was the point in trying to provoke the man, when he wouldn't hate him? No point. A waste of energy. They were friends, and that was that.

He had no idea what to do now, and being in such a state was both confusing and terrifying.

Sportacus knelt beside him. He had to remember to stay unattached. That's what heroes did. You could have friends, as long as you were able to protect and comfort them, but anything else was unwise. Highly unwise. He had to remember to keep what little distance they had left.

"Robbie…" he said gently. "Why did you do that?"

He was surprised and mildly disturbed when the man started laughing hysterically.

"Are you sure you can't hate me? If you hate me after I tell you, I don't know what it will do to my brain," Robbie explained. Sportacus shifted uncertainly. The look on Robbie's face at that moment was closer to a mad genius than he was comfortable with seeing.

But heroes never hated anyone.

He shook his head, and Robbie grinned with all his teeth. Sportacus felt a chill crawl up his spine. Robbie was unstable.

"Tell me," Sportacus prompted, almost afraid of the answer. "I want to know why." Robbie suppressed another laugh.

"Because," he started. "I love you."

Sportacus felt very keenly where the world had dropped out from underneath him. Had he been standing, he wasn't sure he could remain on his feet.

"No idea _why_," Robbie went on, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "It could just be that you're attractive. Or maybe I'm one of those people who just is never satisfied, and falls in love with their opposite. It could be anything."

Sportacus felt like he was drowning.

Wrong.

All wrong.

Robbie swung his gaze to the sports elf's face and stared with more determination than Sportacus had ever seen on him.

"I don't care if you don't love me back," he continued. "I tried to get you to leave so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Out of sight, out of mind. Only you just _couldn't_ stay away. So I thought, maybe if I convince him to leave on his own, he'd stay gone finally. I don't need anyone to save me. I don't need any friends. I don't want a lover. So, getting rid of you should have been easy, right?"

Sportacus couldn't answer. He felt like there was an impossibly heavy weight settling on his chest.

"But," Robbie kept going. "I still don't care. You can hate me if you want. But if you stay around here," he leaned in dangerously, and Sportacus found himself leaning back. "If you stay, I'm going to find a way to make you mine."

He stood up abruptly, dusting off his clothes. Sportacus was frozen in place.

"So, it comes down to two options," Robbie commented, sounding bored, or as if he were humoring the man in shock on his floor. "You can either _explore_ the option of being with the 'town villain'," he sneered, sitting back down in his chair and swinging around to work on the device again.

"Or you can leave and never come back."

Sportacus didn't say a word.

Robbie continued to assemble the machine.

* * *

AN:

I told you he was dark. It gets better. (Whether "better" means lighter or darker, you can infer for yourselves). Sportacus has a huge problem in that he considers himself very much a hero, and holds himself to that. Everything is black and white, and he can't afford to be gray.

Robbie oddly enough reminds me of myself, in some ways. Not... the unbalanced dark part (though I have my days), but just his general "I don't trust anyone" attitude. In the episode "LazyTown's New Superhero", when Sportacus is helping him down off the billboard, it reminded me of myself as a little kid. "Come on Robbie, slide down." "No!" "It's fine, just slide down!" "Don't push me!" "I'm not pushing you!"

Yeah. That was totally me as a kid. Still is, in some ways... if anyone tries to push me, I just cling stubbornly and say to hell with the consequences. I'll move when I'm _ready_, damnit. So, yeah, Robbie reminds me a little of me, so I think perhaps this darker version of Robbie is coming out in my writing because the darker version of myself is peeking out at the moment.

Chapters might be slow in coming out, because last night it suddenly occured to me to write a novel. I had originally thought "Yay Novemeber novel!" but then read the requirements for it and went "hell no." So, I'm just going to write it on my own. I'm kind of excited. I won't divulge the plot here or anything, but it does have to do with an elf (no, not Sportacus, it's my own elf) and if I finish and publish it, I'll make sure to tell you guys about it at some point. And I'll still try and keep this going, it just might be slower than usual. Don't fret.

It's raining outside right now, and very peaceful. I feel like there might really be elves out there. Or imps, at the least. When I walk on the sidewalks, there's these imprints on the cement shaped like the fallen leaves, but it seems to me they're just the remnants of imp-dances late at night, when little imp tree spirits descend and dance like mad at night with their little leaf-shaped muddy feet.

I really want to visit Iceland someday.

Anyway, that's enough of me rambling. I'll put more of my little fantasies in my LJ. As it is, hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and thank you so much for the reviews. 7 already? Wow. I'm flattered guys.


	4. Aleinn um jolin

**Chapter 4: Aleinn um jolin**

Three days passed in silence. They had gotten into a routine. Robbie would always work on the machine to fix them, while Sportacus did exercises very close by. Small things, leg lifts and crunches and pushups. Robbie slowly discovered he actually could concentrate better with the music, and left it on. And then every once in awhile there'd be a break, and they'd venture up to the surface. There were a few close calls with saving people, but he managed. And while they were on the surface, Sportacus would hang from tree branches and frolic while Robbie somehow always managed to attract the kitten, and he'd hold and pet it for awhile.

But three days had passed, and Sportacus hardly said a word. He was getting more and more worried. Watching Robbie play with the kitten, and observing the man as he went about his daily life… it was dangerous. He was starting to see Robbie as someone other than the villain. It was dangerous. Bathing and sleeping in the same bed as him was having dire consequences on his ability to detach himself.

The night before, he had woken up to find that he had snuggled up to Robbie in his sleep, and found himself thinking, upon waking, that Robbie looked very peaceful when dreaming.

But, on the eve of the third day, it finally happened. Robbie brandished the device with glee, doing a little dance of joy that Sportacus found highly amusing, and explaining how it worked.

Robbie seemed to be explaining it without purpose, as he knew Sportacus couldn't understand any of it, so Robbie must have been talking mainly to himself. Sportacus frowned. How lonely could Robbie get? That he had no one to bring his accomplishments to (and they were great accomplishments, if primarily misguided) and had to instead receive praise from _himself_ as a substitute, struck Sportacus as achingly sad.

"Now," Robbie crowed, brandishing the little remote control like device. "Stand still, Sportakook."

Sportacus abruptly snatched it from him.

"HEY!" Robbie yelled, trying to grab it back.

"Robbie, listen for a second."

Robbie calmed down, looking skeptically at him.

Sportacus felt like the dirtiest jerk on the planet.

"You're going to turn me back to normal first, then I'm going to turn you back."

Robbie's eyes widened, and he could see the brief flash of betrayal and hurt in the man's gray eyes, before it got buried. He let Robbie snatch the device back, and he stood still as Robbie adjusted the dial, and fired it at him.

He gasped and staggered backwards slightly. It felt like a tight cord between the two of them had just been cut in half. He brought a hand up to his chest without thinking about it. Robbie pressed the remote into his other hand.

"Your turn," he said dully. Sportacus looked up and saw the man's blank stare. He felt horrible. Not the same kind of horrible he had endured the past week, when Robbie had tried to run, but it was comparable.

He knew it was a dirty trick. And he knew Robbie knew it, deep down underneath this invention's interference. That made it worse.

He felt tainted.

He carefully aimed the device at Robbie, and pressed the button. A flash of light later, they were both standing awkwardly in the middle of Robbie's house. Moments stretched out.

"Out," Robbie whispered. Sportacus startled, looking up at the man.

"What?"

"_Out_," Robbie repeated. He had his head tilted down, and Sportacus couldn't see his eyes. Sportacus waited a few more moments, before he slowly turned around and left.

He told himself, repeatedly, determinedly, that the ache left in place of tension as he got further away was guilt.

It wasn't anything else. He knew that.

* * *

Summer came and went. Robbie still came out from his lair to cause trouble. But it was half-hearted. And every time Sportacus saved the day, there was a look between them that tugged on Sportacus. But it was brief, and not at all like the tension between them inflicted by the botched invention.

So, Sportacus always looked away first, smiling warmly at the kids and dancing and singing with them.

He tried to not notice Robbie getting further and further away.

It was Christmas time though. And a slightly older Stephanie was coming back. Sportacus swung his legs over the side of the air ship and smiled. He liked Stephanie. She helped him out a lot, and encouraged the kids to play and be happy.

Stephanie was the reason he didn't leave.

He shook the thought from his head. It was Christmas. He loved Christmas, because everybody came together and huddled together for warmth after playing out in the snow.

He hummed a song to himself happily, watching from above as Stephanie dragged her luggage back into her Uncle's house.

He stood up, going back into the air ship. The party would be in a couple hours, after all, and he wanted to take a shower and get ready in plenty of time.

* * *

Sportacus laughed at the kids' antics inside the house, gently separating Stingy and Trixie before one of them got into a serious fight.

"Oh no!" Stephanie gasped suddenly, remembering something. "I left my hat outside!" Sportacus smiled at her and jumped up, eager for a walk. He loved the people in this town, but sitting down was difficult, and he'd welcome the chance to stretch.

"I'll get it for you Stephanie!" he said, and he went through his poses and dashed out the door.

He looked around for the pink hat. Nowhere near. He walked further from the house, checking under things.

He stopped when he heard a cough, and teeth chattering.

He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, creeping silently over to a low wall and peeking around it.

His stomach plummeted into his feet when his fears were confirmed. Robbie Rotten was crouching behind the wall, peeking over it and into the window of the house. Sportacus was about to give away his presence by asking the man what he was up to, but Robbie started talking to himself before he got the chance.

"Look at them," he sneered. "All cozy and…" he shivered. "_Warm_. How horrible. And they still didn't invite me. Typical. Rude. I still wouldn't have gone anyway." He paused, and seemed to think. "Well, maybe for some cookies. But I wouldn't stay. Why should I? They don't care." Robbie's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Besides, it'd be a waste of my time. I have very valuable things to do. I can't spend all night with those disgustingly happy morons. And I have no desire to. None at all! Not for company, not for their stupid _friendship_, not even for _him_. I don't need any of them." Robbie narrowed his eyes at the happy music coming from the house, shivered, and rubbed his hands together. He stood up, and Sportacus ducked behind the wall again to avoid being seen as Robbie stalked over to a bench and threw himself down on it in a huff.

"Besides," Robbie continued talking to himself. "The only people who would want to go to parties are just lonely. And I'm not lonely. I'm not."

Sportacus felt something tugging again. He kept silent and still though, watching Robbie.

After a moment of silence, Robbie laughed shortly. And Sportacus nearly gasped in shock when he started _singing_.

It started as a hum, something quiet over the wind. But soon Robbie was whispering an obviously well-memorized song.

Sportacus watched, transfixed, as Robbie went through his lonely song, and he watched as Robbie's expressions kept changing throughout it. It started scolding, scathing, mocking. It insisted that he wasn't lonely. He didn't need all of that warmth and happiness. It even laughed at the prospect.

It took a mournful turn, and Sportacus felt like his heart might tear itself in two. Robbie's face was soft, and open. As the last notes of the song died, Robbie stared at the window again, and Sportacus saw far too clearly, how his eyes had been so wide and full of want and fear. He saw too clearly how it only lasted for an instant, and how Robbie consciously shoved it all back, standing up and whirling around, stomping back to his lair.

For a long time, Sportacus stayed there, huddled against the wall. The wind was starting to bite, but he ignored it.

How long had Robbie been out here in the cold?

He spotted the pink cap laying half-buried in the snow, and he automatically picked it up and walked back into the house.

Stephanie was so thankful to have not lost it after all, she failed to notice that the smile was fake, and that the sports elf did not have his usual energy. Thoughts were still cycling through his head, and the song still echoed in his ears.

How long had Robbie been out there in the cold?

He paused in mid-reach for a cup of cider.

_Just how many Christmases had Robbie Rotten been out in the cold, scoffing at the warmth while longing for it?_

He apologized, and ran out the door again.

Hero work, he said.

But he knew he wasn't really a hero. He was just doing this out of guilt. He should have noticed earlier, and fixed it. But he didn't, and Robbie was suffering, even if he wouldn't admit it.

But it still came down to selfish reasons.

He was halfway to the billboard when he remembered how Robbie's smile looked like when he thought no one was watching, and the kitten had been batting at an insect. Another memory of Robbie smiling like that, holding up his finished invention, the one that would ruin them, and showing it off to the only person there.

So when Sportacus wasn't there, who did Robbie show them to?

He paused, opening the secret door on the billboard.

When he wasn't there, did Robbie smile for himself?

He felt sick. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to promise Robbie that he wouldn't be alone. But he couldn't do that, because even if Robbie was lonely and sad, he was still the villain, and Sportacus was still the hero.

There was no Hero Handbook of Guidelines, Sportacus thought on more than one occasion, but even if there was, that rule didn't need to be put in.

Everyone knew that a hero who falls for a villain isn't a hero anymore.

He opened the lid to Robbie's house and jumped in. He had been through it enough times to get used to the sudden darkness.

* * *

AN:

The next chapter starts some interesting personal logic about love. Ah, I shouldn't have said Robbie is dark, per say... but it's the only term that fits. This fic is about being _broken_. It is of course going to have a taste of darkness, and liberal smatterings of angst. Sportacus is desperately trying to be a hero, and Robbie is... well, really, Robbie is the chaotic element. I do love chaos.

Regardless, you'll see that in the next chapter, and the one after perhaps. I'll explain it all then.

This chapter was written when I found Robbie's "all alone at christmas" song. SADDEST SONG EVER. Especially for LazyTown. I need to thank Shinju (AGAIN) for putting that up. It was the most awesome thing ever.

Anyway, as I have no knowledge of Icelandic, I based the little Robbie singing bit up there on what the song sounded like it was saying. I mean, the song is about being alone and cold on christmas. I can take artistic license with it, even if the translated lyrics don't mean that. Kami-chan said it made her cry.

Sweetsportscandy, you guys are too nice to me! 11 reviews already? AH! I love you guys. Of course, it doesn't help that I update like crazy either. Hmm.


	5. Aleinn um jolin Part II

**Chapter: Aleinn um jolin Part II**

He didn't even feel like plotting. It was too cold outside, and he was too tired. They were rude to not have invited him, _again_, but that was all. They weren't even being particularly noisy.

And really, he was getting used to not being paid attention to if he wasn't causing trouble.

He accepted that he was lonely. And he could pretend it didn't hurt, but he knew it was a lie. That was one thing the malfunctioning invention had fixed. He could suspect Sportacus of lying, but what really happened was that he knew the lies he told himself.

He curled up in his chair, wishing he owned a blanket. He closed his eyes, and temporarily let the hurt wash over him before he pushed it back again.

So what if it wasn't fair? So what if he was lonely? It didn't matter. When he slept, he wasn't lonely. When he dreamt, it was of things he could never have that left him bitter when he woke up.

He had resolved a long time ago to be awake as little as possible.

What, really, was the point in eating healthy food when he liked the junk food better?

There wasn't a point.

He shivered and curled up tighter. Normally he would have the television on, but he didn't feel like listening to the noise. He wrapped his arms around himself, and let his mind wander.

When he was younger, he had a dog. He remembered now. A huge shaggy dog. It probably wasn't huge, it had just seemed like that to him as a child. He remembered that he used to curl up against the dog for comfort, and be buried in its unruly fur.

It struck him as disappointing that he couldn't remember the dog's name, or whether it was a girl or boy. He sighed, and let his mind wander.

He drifted between sleep and wake, not caring that in his mind, he was curled up against a large furry dog, safe and warm and not alone.

* * *

This was the scene Sportacus saw when he rolled silently out of the pipe. He swallowed back a flood of guilt, seeing Robbie curled up so tightly in his chair, looking like a child. 

'Everyone is probably worried about where you are,' a voice in his head said. 'You should get back.'

'Robbie's all alone,' another chimed in. 'He's always all alone.'

'So he'll just be alone again. He's used to it. He won't want help anyway.'

Sportacus took a deep breath.

He wanted to see Robbie smile again.

"Robbie," he whispered, touching the man's shoulder. Gray eyes snapped open and focused on his.

"What the hell do you want?" came the flat reply. Sportacus cringed, but resolved to stay firm.

"Come on," he said. "There's hot cocoa with your name on it."

"Like hell," Robbie muttered. "It's probably sugar free."

"No, it has sugar. I didn't say I would be drinking any. Come on."

He tugged on Robbie's sleeve, trying to get the man to stand and follow. Robbie was being stubborn, as usual, and staring defiantly back at him.

"Why?" Robbie asked finally. Sportacus froze, and cursed in his mind. Leave it to Robbie to ask the one question he didn't know the answer to.

"There's a lot of cookies and other food," he said in response, avoiding a direct answer. Please, let Robbie be hungry enough to just accept, please…

"You're avoiding the question," Robbie remarked. Sportacus cursed internally again. He grew nervous as Robbie's face adopted that sly look he had only seen once or twice.

"So why is it you suddenly want me to go to this stupid party?" Robbie continued, sensing the hero's unease. "Come on, now. I know very well heroes aren't supposed to lie."

Sportacus did cringe then.

"I…" he started. Robbie was watching him like a hawk. "I know you want to come. That's why." Robbie eyes narrowed dangerously.

"And why, Sportakook," he said slowly, standing up from his chair. "Would you know that, and only come to this _revelation_ now, halfway through the night?"

Sportacus panicked.

"You didn't deny it!" he said desperately. Robbie shrugged it off.

"It doesn't matter at this point, does it?"

Robbie advanced, and Sportacus found himself backing up, until the back of his legs hit a table.

"Because now, I know that you were _spying_ on me, sports elf."

Sportacus shook his head, but Robbie laughed.

"How hero-like," Robbie chuckled. "Spying. How _odd_." He paused, and looked contemplative. His voice lowered. "Usually, it's _me_ that does the spying. How very strange that _you_ seem to have picked it up."

Sportacus felt like he should run. Just bolt, and scramble up the pipe and go back to the party and forget everything that happened. Go back to before. The voice in his head was saying 'I told you so, I told you' and it felt like his legs might actually give out from under him. Robbie was standing not a foot in front of him now, and he could feel the man's breath on his forehead. Robbie was smiling down at him, and it wasn't a nice smile.

"I-I wasn't," he defended. "I was looking for Stephanie's hat! It's not my fault you were out there, talking to yourself!"

"And just how much did the hero hear, hmm?" Robbie shot back. Sportacus shivered at the tone of voice Robbie was using. It was something smooth and taunting.

"It doesn't matter," Robbie answered for him. "So you heard me. What are you doing now? Going to drag me to the party and expect me to be happy?"

"You… you sounded lonely…"

Robbie's eyes narrowed again, and his face closed.

"And what of it? What good will come of me being around them? Just what is it you _want_, Sportaflop?"

"I want you to smile!" Sportacus finally broke, shouting. He closed his eyes, tensing up as the words just poured out of him. "I want you to be happy! What's wrong with that? I want you to be happy and know that people love you!"

There was a hissed intake of breath, but Sportacus kept his eyes firmly closed. He felt Robbie lean in even closer.

"And what good would that do me?"

Sportacus bit back an uncharacteristic whimper as the breath rushed past his ear.

"Love. You apparently have a very different definition of love, sports elf. You love everyone. But that's loving no one. How very _sad_."

He wanted to open his mouth and tell Robbie he was wrong. But he felt trapped and cornered. His voice wouldn't come.

"Love," Robbie continued. "Is something like an addiction. Undoubtedly, this is why you avoid it like the plague. But it's the worst addiction in the world, worse than junk food, or gambling, or any other vice. Love is a sin that devours you, mind and soul. Love destroys who you are, and if you're lucky, remakes you into someone _not you_. You want that? No, what you want me to feel is that soft flimsy thing you call love, but is really nothing. Easy smiles and laughter, nothing but the paltry half-hearted motions of affection."

"That's not true!" He found his voice again, but it was weak.

"That's what you want for me? To be trapped as you're trapped, playing at connections to other people?"

"It wouldn't be like that! You don't know anything!"

Sportacus opened his eyes then, and glared defiantly up at Robbie's blank face. Robbie leaned back slightly.

"Go back to your party, Sportakook."

"No. I came to get you and bring you too."

"You'll be wasting your time," Robbie replied easily, stepping back. "I know you, even if you don't know me. Dragging me into the midst of your friends and trying to assimilate me into them won't work. You can't make up your mind."

"What are you talking about?"

Robbie sighed.

"You can't decide," Robbie explained. "If you're a hero or not. And further, you can't make up your mind about what being a hero entails."

Robbie leveled a straight-forward look at him.

"Frankly, you're more confused and lonely than _I_ am."

* * *

AN:

A bit of a cliffhanger. You guys can handle it. I update often enough!

I'm a few paragraphs away from coming to the conclusion. Woo! It's a short little fic, but I like it. Don't worry guys. You still have at least 3 or 4 chapters after this one. I like this chapter. A lot. Because it's the start of Robbie's lengthy retaliation. And it shows exactly what his take on love is. I'm proud of it!

In other news, I started a sequel to Peanbut Butter Banana Sandwiches. Help me. I can't stop. My elbows are bruised from hours spent writing propped up on them. I've taken to staring off into space and randomly coming up with new plots. My brain is in overdrive, and like the Speed movies, I _can not slow it down_.

That said, enjoy.


	6. Jol i Latibae

**Chapter 6: Jol i Latibae**

"That's not true," Sportacus said, but it sounded weak even to his own ears. Robbie stared at him for a moment more, telling him frankly with his eyes "we both know you're lying" but after that moment, Robbie shrugged.

"Regardless," he said. "I'm telling you now that I'm not a social person."

"But you want to be."

Sportacus exhaled in relief at the briefest flicker of emotion on Robbie's face. It meant he had a handhold, finally.

"You want me to want to be that," Robbie asserted. Sportacus shrugged this time.

"I didn't deny that. But you didn't deny it either."

There was a pause, and the two of them were stuck in a stare down.

"You want to be friends with people, and be warm and not all alone. I _know_ you do Robbie." he continued. Robbie grit his teeth.

"So what?" he shot back. "It's all a lie. I'm always alone, and I'll _always_ be alone. Being friends with that lot would be stupid of me. It'd be lying to myself, wouldn't it? Because I honestly don't like them. Forcing myself to smile and laugh with them would be a lie, something fake that would just let me be content on the surface and trick myself into feeling happy. Who wants that? Besides _you_ of course."

Sportacus sighed.

"You don't know anything about love Robbie," he said. Robbie rounded on him again.

"_I_ don't know about love?" the man hissed. "You've completely forgotten, haven't you? Or did you just push it out of your head to make room for more stupid ways to use sports equipment?"

Sportacus drew his eyebrows together in an expression of confusion. Robbie stepped forward again, swiftly, and slammed his hands down on the table, one hand on each side of the sports elf. Sportacus froze, thrown off.

"I see." Robbie said flatly, staring straight into those winter sky blue eyes. "I'll remind you then."

Sportacus didn't even have a chance to protest before Robbie's mouth was on his, and he froze again, feeling a tingling warm feeling spread…

He wanted to fight. He wanted to push Robbie away and tell him to not do it again, he still didn't hate him, and he better hurry up and get to the party.

But he couldn't move or even make a sound.

_'Please,_' he thought. '_Please, forgive me for this._'

He couldn't help it when he started kissing the man back. It was out of his control.

* * *

Robbie broke away first, his eyes half closed in a way that caused the sports elf to shiver. Sportacus could feel his heart hammering away in his chest, but it was only when Robbie backed away, hand coming up to touch his lips, that Sportacus felt fear. 

"Alright," Robbie said suddenly. Sportacus blinked in confusion.

"H-huh?"

"I'll come to the party." Robbie explained, eyeing the sports elf in a way that made him nervous, with a mild smirk that said clearly 'I won'.

"That is what you wanted, isn't it?" he finished smoothly. Sportacus nodded hastily, and moved toward the exit with Robbie following behind.

"The cocoa better not be sugar free, or I'm leaving immediately."

"I already said it wasn't."

"Good."

* * *

"Hey guys!"! Sportacus announced loudly, swinging the door open and stepping inside. "Guess who I found?" He stepped aside and revealed Robbie, who was trying his best to look casual, but the shivering was giving him away. 

"Robbie Rotten!" the group exclaimed. He stuck his tongue out at them.

"Going to invite me in or what?" he asked snidely. Stephanie made a face at him for being rude, but Mayor Meanswell hastily invited him inside, closing the door once he stepped in and then bustling off to get another mug of hot cocoa.

Robbie cast a glance around the room, found an unoccupied chair, and slumped down in it. Sportacus almost beamed gratefully at the man for being such a good sport about it so far, but he remembered the conditions on which Robbie had agreed, just in time to suppress the bright smile into merely a softened look of gratefulness. He startled a little when a present was shoved into his arms. He looked down at Stephanie, who was smiling brightly at him, and he managed an equally bright smile back.

"For you!" she said cheerfully, before bouncing off to distribute the rest of the gifts before Stingy could claim them all. He watched her wistfully for a moment before looking down at the present in his arms. He held it up to his ear and shook it carefully, careful to not disturb anything fragile. Though, he very much doubted it was anything breakable.

He sighed a little when Robbie snatched his small package from the pink girl, but couldn't find it in him to complain. That is, until Stephanie looked at him expectantly. He hastily remembered that he was her hero.

"Robbie, be nice," he warned. But he knew very well it sounded half-hearted. He was trying to call on something that wasn't there, and it showed.

No one noticed but Robbie.

Robbie stared at him directly for a few moments, before hastily snatching the lid off of his present. Sportacus quickly followed suit, noticing that everyone else was tearing into their own.

He smiled vaguely and pulled out a picture frame. It was a picture from last Christmas, when Stephanie had hastily crammed a santa hat on his head, proclaimed herself and the other kids his helpers, and they had clung to them in their excitement at this new fun pretending game. If memory served, it had been the mayor who snapped the picture… he traced a finger along the frame and smiled.

He didn't care what Robbie said. He knew what love was.

Thinking of Robbie, he looked up from the picture and over to the man. Robbie had tossed the empty box over his shoulder carelessly, and was currently holding…

Socks.

Even Sportacus cringed a little. He couldn't blame them though. What do you buy a man you know nothing about? Socks, generally. It was the gesture that counted.

Robbie apparently didn't agree. He regarded them with a look of disdain, and looked up, mouth open and ready to tell everyone, loudly, what miserable gifts there were. But he inexplicably shut his mouth when he spotted Sportacus on the other side of the room. Robbie then looked as if he were trying very hard to not look like he was feeling anything in particular, and sat in the chair, stuffing the socks into his vest. Undoubtedly to throw them away at another time.

Sportacus offered up a thin smile of condolence to Robbie, and Robbie just glared daggers at him in response. Those daggers had notes attached: "I don't know why I even came here."

Sportacus moved over to him, deftly avoiding running children and packages of torn-into paper and bows, finally sitting down in the chair next to Robbie.

"So," he started, watching the kids play amiably. "Feeling better?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Robbie responded. "I have a headache from all the squealing and off-key singing."

"You could sing," Sportacus offered gently. Robbie leveled him with a look.

"I don't sing happy songs like that," he replied. "And even if I did, I don't sing in front of people."

"You should," Sportacus said, grabbing an extra cup of cocoa and pushing it into Robbie's hands. "Your singing voice is pretty good."

Robbie huffed, but Sportacus saw from the corner of his eye that Robbie's face was mildly red, and he was sipping the cocoa in an attempt to hide it.

The rest of the night was spent rather amiably, and Sportacus played with the kids until it was time for them to wander back home to their own families. Robbie was sprawled out on a couch, half buried in wrapping paper. Some sticky bows had gotten into his hair as well. Sportacus and Stephanie waved goodbye to the other kids from the door, and afterwards Sportacus chided her gently to brush her teeth, wash her face, and get into bed, otherwise she wouldn't have any energy tomorrow. She smiled sleepily and pranced off to obey, and he watched her go with a replying smile.

He sighed and looked at the mess left over, which the mayor was busily trying to clean. He posed heroically and pitched in.

Robbie continued to sleep, even when Sportacus gently pried the bows from his hair.

* * *

AN: 

Heh. I update almost every single day and you guys still want them faster? You greedy little things, I love you. This fic is finished, so it's very likely it'll be a chapter a day. Enjoy it. My novel makes no progress.

The picture Sportacus got as a present is something interesting. On the surface level, it's cute, because Sportacus is an elf. And I found it ironic that Stephanie (who is thus ignorant of his elfness) would proclaim him Santa and herself and the rest of the children his elves. I can imagine the sheer confusion going on in his poor head. I also find it amusing to imagine Sportacus creeping around on christmas and shoving sports candy into people's shoes. And the mass amount of puzzlement come morning. But I digress. The other part of that present was that it was something from the previous year, gifted a year after. Stephanie is making sure that Sportacus stays there, by perpetuating this. Next year he'll get a photo from this party, and it'll keep going. He can't leave, or else there'll be a present for him left behind. It's actually fairly clever of the girl.

Sorry. I'm still giggling over Sportacus putting sports candy into shoes. I need help.

Anyway, Sportacus wins this round with Robbie (sort of) and there's a kiss. Yay! It's fun to imagine Sportacus as highly reluctant. It's always more fun when you have to slowly convince them. Ah! But this does not mean that Sportacus is any more ready to let go of his hero-ness! Make no mistake. Robbie kissed him, and he can berate himself and his traitorous body all he likes afterwards for kissing him back, but it's still Robbie who started it. And in Sportacus' mind, that just makes Robbie very very lonely. Which he is, but... anyway, you get the picture.

It's raining outside and I need to do laundry! Grr! Let up for 5 minutes so I can run with laundry to the building!

Reviews equal loves!


	7. Glaumbæjargengið

**Chapter 7: Glaumbæjargengið **

"MINE!"

Robbie grumbled and stomped over to the periscope, looking out and focusing the view until the normal pack of brats appeared. Well, not all of them… Robbie only saw the yellow child and pig-tailed brat at the moment. They were both huddled next to a bush, and peering into it intently.

"I want iiiiit," Stingy was whining. There was a small mew from the bush, and Robbie's heart stopped beating.

The kitten.

He was out of his lair as fast as he could get, and walking swiftly toward that area of town. The kitten was _his_, it liked _him_ best.

Meanwhile, Stingy and Trixie were still gathered around it.

Stingy picked up a stick and poked it into the bush, hoping to get the kitten to come out. There was only an aggravated hiss, so he poked again.

"You're not doing it right!' Trixie snapped at him. "If you want to get it out, you can't be right in front like this! Here, I'll show you."

She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him a little distance away, pulling out her slingshot and taking careful aim. She wasn't aiming to hurt the precious little prize.

"Get ready," she said to Stingy, who nodded and crouched, ready to spring.

Just as she fired her shot into the bush, a furious Robbie Rotten came stalking onto the scene. Just in time to see the kitten dart out of the bush, startled by the shot, and come racing towards him. Stingy sprang, and made a grab for the kitten as she raced by. He caught her by the tail, and she yowled in such a way that it sounded like a scream, and instinctually sprang back on the hand holding her hostage, clawing and biting at it with such ferocity that _Stingy_ screamed.

Robbie snapped at that moment.

"_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!_" he bellowed. Trixie dropped her slingshot in shock, but Stingy was focused on grabbing the cat in such a way that it would stop trying to tear him apart. He was certain that, once he had a good hold of it, it would consent to being his rather amiably…

He forgot about it when a foot connected with his side.

"_LET HER GO THIS INSTANT!_"

Trixie was backing up, her eyes wide. They'd all seen Robbie mad, of course. It was almost a constant state of Robbie-ness, being angry. But this was a whole new level of fury she'd yet to see in her life. For the first time, she understood that Robbie was a full-grown man, much bigger than any of them, and _very_ capable of hurting them.

She beat a hasty retreat, terrified almost to the point of tears.

Stingy meanwhile, had let go of the kitten in favor of holding onto his side. That hurt. It hurt a lot. What was going on? Grownups never hurt little kids… Robbie was doing it all wrong again. He whimpered, and curled up, still clutching his aching ribs.

Robbie was trying to pry a petrified kitten from his leg when Sportacus came flipping onto the scene.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking from Robbie to Stingy. "Who's in trouble?" Robbie opened his mouth to tell him off, but Stingy got there first.

"Robbie hit me!" he bawled out. Robbie hissed at him, still in pain from the kitten's claws in his leg and still absolutely furious at the boy. Sportacus was staring at him with hugely widened eyes.

"Robbie?…" he breathed. Robbie swung his glare from the boy to the sports elf.

"You tell these brats," he started angrily, finally managing to transfer the shivering ball of fur from his leg into his arms, and straightening up. "You tell them to stay the hell away from my kitten. And tell them it's not _nice_ to torture animals."

Sportacus' shocked gaze went to Stingy then, who was still crying.

"We weren't!" he sobbed, looking up at Sportacus desperately. "We just wanted to get it out of the bush, so we could see, and it didn't want to come out, so-"

"_SO YOU THREW ROCKS AT HER AND POUNCED ON HER!_" Robbie screeched. Stingy sobbed louder, scared. Sportacus could feel the tension in the air about to snap, and knew he had to intervene. First he had to calm Robbie down before the man came to the conclusion of revenge being an ideal solution.

"Robbie, come on, sit down. She's still terrified, look, her tail's all puffed out…" he motioned over to a bench, and to his relief, Robbie went and sat down on it, whispering things (undoubtedly about revenge for her injured tail) to the kitten and petting her with his free hand. Sportacus turned to Stingy.

"Now, let's see what hurts," he said gently, and helped Stingy to stand up. After Stingy pointed out where it hurt and Sportacus lifted up the boy's shirt, he could see the beginnings of a nasty bruise on his side. Sportacus' look darkened, but he didn't risk a glance over at Robbie. He wouldn't be able to control himself at the moment.

"It looks like it'll be alright," he told Stingy gently, calling for an ice pack from his air ship and giving it to the boy to hold against the injury. He made it very clear to him that animals should not be harassed, and Stingy nodded sulkily. With that, Sportacus sent the boy home and told him he should keep ice on it, and go to the doctor as soon as possible.

After Stingy left, he focused on Robbie.

The kitten had calmed down considerably, though she was still skittish, and seemed to be hiding against Robbie as much as she could. Sportacus sat down next to the man, whose attention was still mostly on the shivering ball of fur cradled in his arms.

"They didn't mean to hurt her," Sportacus said. Robbie only scowled deeper and tightened his hold on the kitten.

"I hate them," Robbie finally muttered. Sportacus was silent for a moment, contemplating the ground.

"You shouldn't hit people Robbie." he said quietly. He could feel Robbie tense.

"_They_ shouldn't be pestering small animals," he snapped back. The kitten mewled in distress, sensing the hostility, and Robbie instantly relaxed, going back to stroking the fur gently to show he wasn't angry at her. She purred hesitantly.

"They won't do it again." Sportacus added. "So, you promise. Promise you won't hit people again."

"I'm not promising anything."

"Please."

Robbie paused, and glanced up from the kitten for the first time. His eyes met the sports elf's bright blue ones.

"Why?"

Sportacus paused at the question.

"Because… it's bad to hit people."

"But I _am_ bad. Everyone knows that. Try harder."

Sportacus scowled slightly at him, frustrated. Who was Robbie Rotten to order him around?

"Fine," he said, a little sharply. "Because it gets you in trouble? Does that appeal enough to your selfish side?" Robbie smiled a little.

"I always get in trouble too. You're still not answering it right. Think, for once. Why exactly are you telling me it's bad to hit people? Are you protecting them?"

"Yes," Sportacus answered automatically. Robbie made a buzzer sound.

"Wrong," he replied. "If it was for the sake of them, your answer would have been because you don't want to see anyone get hurt."

Sportacus felt the blood in his veins freeze up. Not again… why did Robbie always have to do this? Why did Robbie have to make him question everything? Was it part of his newest plan?

But for the life of him, he couldn't stand up and walk away. He couldn't stop listening.

"But instead," Robbie continued, as always. "You told me I'd get in trouble. And when confronted, you get confused and run in a circle. You know I wouldn't care about getting into trouble. I do it all the time. So, you lied."

"I didn't!"

"I didn't say you lied to me," Robbie continued, looking down at the kitten and petting her again, eliciting small purrs from her.

"You're lying to yourself, of course."

"Stop it Robbie."

"Your voice is shaking, you know. I can tell. No one else will notice, when you're lying. You lie all the time. Every time you smile when you don't want to, you're lying. No one else knows, but _I_ do."

"Robbie, stop it…"

"Don't whimper so. It isn't that bad. You're trying to destroy what I am, so don't I have a fair shot too? If you're allowed to try and reform me and make me nice and considerate and happy, can't I do the same to you?"

Sportacus found himself frozen again. He wanted to say it wasn't the same.

"If you define yourself by being the hero, aren't I allowed to try and knock you down? That's fair, isn't it? If you're lying all the time to yourself… that's what is defining who you are, isn't it?"

The last sentence was a whisper, a sudden revelation. Robbie's eyes were almost as wide as his own.

"If you're trying to destroy who I am, Sportacus… change what defines me… I can fight back just as hard." He laughed suddenly, and it made Sportacus jump, startled.

"You said I shouldn't hit people because _you're_ afraid I'll get in trouble. You _do_ care about me. I hit it right on!" Robbie said happily, apparently pleased with himself. "Love really is about being destroyed!"

Sportacus abruptly felt his eyes fill with salty liquid. It felt like something inside of him was tearing apart. He wanted to curl up into a ball and sob like Stingy.

"You're wrong!" he found himself saying, though his voice cracked. Robbie didn't even look up.

"It's okay," Robbie said, gently. He rubbed the kitten's tiny fuzzy ears and she meowed her pleasure. "I'm broken too. So it's okay."

And Sportacus felt the last dam crumble like it was made of sand, and felt hot tears slide down his face.

"R-Robbie," he pleaded. He didn't know what for. But it hurt. Maybe he was pleading for Robbie to make it stop. He didn't know anymore.

Robbie looked up, and even through his blurry vision, Sportacus could see the other man's eyes were watery, even if he was smiling vaguely.

"I warned you, didn't I?" Robbie said, but it was said with a note of apology in it that Sportacus didn't miss. He sobbed then, and curled up on the bench with his forehead resting against Robbie's shoulder.

Robbie was right. He was utterly broken.

* * *

AN:

Wheeee! Second to last chapter! I did say it was going to be short.

Hmm. This was pretty much a continuation of their earlier argument about what love and loving someone is about. A twisted form of love, but that really doesn't make it less valid... at any rate, there it is. What Robbie essentially said in that entire thing is "I know you love me, and I love you too." In his own complicated evil way. Silly Robbie.

Yes, that kitten... Robbie pretty much considers her to be his now. He likes the feeling of fur (probably because of those half-surfaced memories about a dog, but who knows) and he's going to take comfort where he can.

Anyway. Next chapter is the last. Don't know when I'll start the next fic. Knowing me, it won't be long.

I love you guys! Keep reviewing!


	8. Allt í lagi í Latabæ

**Chapter 8: ****Allt í lagi í Latabæ**

He stayed like that for a long time, his shoulders heaving with every hitched breath. Robbie, at some point, had moved his arm and was half embracing the mourning sports elf. He stayed silent, so the only sound was the kitten's purrs and his own small gasps for air and low, keening crying noises.

"Why?" he whimpered finally, rubbing his eyes furiously. "Why does it have to be like this?"

Robbie took his time answering.

"I don't know," he said truthfully. "It just is. There's not really a reason. Why am I alone? Why do you lie to yourself?"

"People need to be happy," Sportacus answered quietly, his crying slowly ceasing. He didn't move from his spot against Robbie, and Robbie didn't push him away. He noticed that the man smelled vaguely like damp earth, and a sort of wood and dust scent, like an ancient stand of trees. He wondered why he only noticed the smell now, even after having lived with him for over a week.

"They need a hero." he continued. Robbie snorted quietly.

"Stupid," was the comment. "_I_ don't need a hero." Sportacus smiled slightly and moved back.

"Who's going to rescue you when _you_ get stuck in trees?"

"Are you comparing me to the cat?"

"I never said that," Sportacus replied slyly. "Besides, I already know what you want, if not a hero."

"Oh?"

"A friend."

"Wrong again. You're about as astute as a doorknob."

"Then what? Tell me then, if I'm so stupid."

There was a long moment of silence, where the kitten jumped nimbly off of Robbie's lap, completely recovered, and rubbed against their legs for awhile before tottering off. Robbie was staring at his hands, as if now that the kitten was gone, he didn't know what to do.

"I…" Robbie started, hesitantly. He whispered. "I _am_ lonely. I mean, I admitted that a long time ago."

"Then, what, if not friends?"

When Robbie's eyes met his, he had a flash of understanding.

"Oh," he said quietly. He knew he should be feeling something at this point… but he felt drained, emotionally. He couldn't summon up a response.

Thoughts drifted through his head. Things about being a hero, and being the personification of good. He wanted to meet that standard. But Robbie had pointed out the fatal flaw in that: he lied. Even if it was for the good of other people, he lied, and heroes never lied. When you first take that step into the gray area, you can't step back.

Randomly, Sportacus realized Robbie's eyes were gray, and found the analogy ironic.

"What are you smiling at?" Robbie asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Sportacus answered. "I just noticed your eyes. They're the same color as storm clouds."

Robbie frowned a little at this, and brought one hand up to his face, self-conscious.

"Hmm," came the reply. "Yeah, well… your eyes are too damn blue. It almost hurts to look at them."

"It does?" He wished he had a mirror, suddenly.

"Yes. They switch meaning. During the summer they're the color of glacial lakes. During the winter it's a summer sky. Freakiest eyes I've ever seen."

Sportacus grinned.

"I'd tease you about being a poet, but I know better."

"Hmph. Good. I despise poetry."

There was another pause, and the spring air was filled with sounds of birds chirping and snow melting, instead of their voices. It had a feeling of awakening, and Sportacus wondered if maybe this was the reason the breakdown had happened now. Season of new beginnings and new growth, after all.

"Hey," he said quietly, interrupting the silence. Robbie didn't look at him, but he knew he was listening. "What happens now?"

Robbie shrugged dramatically.

"We start over, I suppose."

"Start over…" Sportacus mused. He perked up. "Like a game?" Robbie groaned, and Sportacus responded to this by laughing heartily.

"Even if I'm broken, Robbie Rotten," he said teasingly. "I'll still love what I love." Robbie looked at him from the corner of his eye.

"But you'll still try and get me to stop eating cake," he replied sourly. "I see how it is with you."

"You can still eat cake," Sportacus said, tapping a finger to his chin in thought. "Just less of it maybe… and not all the time…" Robbie groaned again and threw himself back onto the bench, limbs splayed out dramatically. Sportacus grinned at him.

"I like this," the sports elf continued. "I thought I wouldn't. But it… feels better, now. Don't you think?" Robbie sighed.

"It's either a relief from having to not lie to yourself anymore," he grumbled. "Or you've gone into shock and your brain is only _telling_ you you're happy."

"What about you?"

Robbie blinked, looking up at the sky. From this angle, all you could see was bright blue sky. His stomach flipped, reminded so of the sports elf's eyes.

"I don't know," he finally admitted. "I think it's the second option."

"Shock? From what?"

Robbie remained silent for awhile, his head tilted back as he kept looking up at the sky.

"From not having to be broken alone, I guess. It's never happened before."

Sportacus watched Robbie stare at the sky, wondering at how peaceful Robbie looked at that moment.

"This is hard," he muttered. "If I'm not a hero, does this mean you're not a villain either?"

"You'll recall that I never referred to myself as such," Robbie interrupted.

"Ah… true…" He sighed and started tapping his foot slightly. "This is still hard though. I don't know who I am, if I'm not a hero." Robbie rolled his eyes.

"It's not that you're _not_ a hero, you stupid elf," he explained. "I doubt you could stop saving people if you had to. For whatever reason, you just _do_ that."

"Like you nap?"

"I have _reasons_ for napping. But you… never mind. Look, the point is, you're not _just_ the hero. You're other things too. Get it?"

"I think so…" Sportacus mused, and started tapping his chin again thoughtfully. "But… still, I never really thought about it before. Being anything other than a hero, I mean. How do I know who I am, then?"

Robbie shrugged.

"That's up to you, I guess. Change how you like." And here he waved one hand in a flippant manner, as if to say he really didn't care. Sportacus thought for a few more moments.

"Do… do you know who you are Robbie?"

Robbie blinked at the expanse of blue above him. The back of the bench was digging into his neck as he rested against it, but he ignored the feeling. Did he know who he was? That was a very good question.

"I know more than _you_ do," he finally replied. Sportacus rolled his eyes.

"Like what?"

Robbie sat up.

"I know what I like," he shot back. Sportacus made a face at the man.

"I know what I like too!" he defended. Robbie snorted.

"If you knew what you liked, you wouldn't have started crying in the first place!"

"Well… well… maybe I just like more things too!"

Robbie glanced at him, seeing the blue elf pout stubbornly with his arms folded across his chest. He felt the corner of his mouth twitching, warning of a smile.

"If it's more sports, it doesn't count," he pointed out. Sportacus got visibly offended and puffed out his chest in an imposing manner. Like it needed to be puffed out any more, Robbie thought.

"It's not sports!" Sportacus defended. "It's… other things." He trailed off uncertainly, some of his determination leaking away. Robbie looked at him curiously.

"Other things, huh?" Robbie inquired. "Care to give examples?"

He felt that strange flutter in his chest again when he caught splashes of red appear on the elf's face. He resisted the urge to keel over dramatically, and instead merely sat still with a racing heart.

"Well…" Sportacus started hesitantly. "Um… kissing…"

Robbie curled his hands into fists and kept a tight control on his voice.

"Interesting," he commented. Sportacus was looking at some birds nearby hop around and peck at the thawing ground. "Just how often have you done that, then?" Sportacus got redder.

"Twice," he muttered. Robbie felt a shock of electricity go through him, and it was suddenly awkward again.

"Oh." There was an entire minute of silence before he spoke up again, his voice cracking a little despite himself.

"If you've only done it twice, how do you know you like it?"

Sportacus' eyes got wide as he processed the implications of that statement.

"I don't know..." he admitted. Robbie laughed shortly, but even Sportacus could tell it was strained. Robbie was visibly trembling. Sportacus swallowed nervously and leaned closer. A warning was sounding in his head, something ingrained that was telling him he was giving in to the dark side by even thinking about this. He hesitated, and reevaluated his approach.

If it would bring Robbie closer to the light, wasn't it worth it? The warning quieted, thrown off by that logic, and Sportacus relaxed again, leaning forward again and very quickly pressing his lips to the side of Robbie's face and then leaning back again and waiting for a response.

Robbie appeared to have momentarily stopped breathing, and blood was rushing to his face.

"There," the sports elf said finally, his voice rather small. "Now it's three times." Robbie seemed to shake off his temporary shock, and huffed.

"That was barely a kiss," he pointed out haughtily. Sportacus looked at him suspiciously.

"It was so," he argued. "I used my lips. That makes it a kiss!"

"It's only a proper kiss like _this_, sports elf."

And Robbie abruptly snatched a handful of his shirt and pulled him forward, pressing their lips together and kissing him soundly. Sportacus shivered all the way down to his toes, kissing back shyly at first but with increasing confidence. Eventually, Robbie broke the kiss, but didn't move away.

"There," he breathed heavily, catching his breath. "That was the third time."

"How am I supposed to know if I like kissing if you're always the one starting it?..." Sportacus mused quietly, and before Robbie had a chance, closed the small distance between their mouths again.

* * *

AN:

End.

See, it ends happily! I told you it would. Sorry about not getting this out earlier. I um... kind of managed to create two characters on The Sims 2 that look remarkably like Sportacus and Robbie.

... yeah, they were in bed together by the end of two days. IT'S NOT MY FAULT ... I took pictures.

After this fic, I'm thinking about posting the sequel to PBBS. You guys can read a little about it on my LJ (the link to which is on my profile). But I still need to go through and tweak a few things. It's not a literary masterpiece, sadly. It's far lacking in quality when compared to the original, and I'm trying to get it to shorten the gap. Difficult. But I'm trying.

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews guys!


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